I don’t know man, I just feel so humbled and grateful for everything. Great friends, a loving team, and just good vibes overall. The stress is definitely there, but the people I’ve been around with lately have made getting through each day so much easier.
Long story short—I’m genuinely enjoying life right now. Do you know how rare that is?!
This concept is probably one of the hardest-ever to master: knowing what to say, when to say it, and how to go about saying it. More importantly: knowing when it’s best to keep quiet and not say anything at all.
That’s some shady-ass business right there. You think you know people, and then they just pull a 180 right in front of your face.
Then again, I had the strongest feeling, too. There are certain parts of a person’s psyche that are near-impossible to change, and this was something I was aware of since… well, a loooong time ago.
Thank God I was prepared for (and, in fact, expecting) all this, otherwise I’d be upset as hell right now. It’s weird. To be honest, I frankly just, well, don’t care. Seriously. It’s a first for me. I don’t really even think about it much.
Still, I am slightly annoyed. I’m pretty big on principles, after all: especially those that people place on themselves. Live up to them.
It’s pretty damn hard for me to trust people enough so that I can rely on them in times of need, but when I do, well, it’s an extraordinary thing—simply because it doesn’t happen often. Those people are very few, and very far in between.
Once someone breaks that trust, however, it’s almost impossible to gain it back. Sure, I can confide in the person and trust him/her to keep secrets, but I can’t rely that person to back me up or support me if I ever need it.
I couldn’t have asked for a better way to cap off a stressful zero week. PWR was tight, our first pre-audition workshop was OFF THE CHAIN, ChauChau’s surprise bday was hella fun, the SP party was super chill, and the post-party kickback/jam session at Ceejay’s (with a McDonald’s run squeezed in between) was a perfect way to cap off the night.
Oh, and deep-ass conversations till 630am with the most unlikely people? Yeah, I’ll take that.
Seriously though, to everyone who was a part of today: I love you. You all are amazing people.
Jammed the fuck out to old Avenged Sevenfold songs with Tung tonight. In all honesty, I forgot how amazing it feels to get those harmonies going in.. playing that duet solo to Bat Country gave me hellaaaa chills! Hella nostalgia too.
Whenever I jam with other people, it’s ALWAYS the same shit. Playing around with chords is fun and all, but when people ask me if I know x, y, and z pop songs—it just kind of gets old sometimes, you know?
Then again, I’m on a dance team. Almost nobody likes rock or metal. I expected as much before I first joined.
Tonight’s jam session was a much-needed refresher. Playing difficult music is, well, a bitch, but it’s also insanely fun and rewarding—especially if it’s with a fucking guitar major.
I leaned a lot, but at the same time, I found out that I still got it.
Oh, and playing guitar solos on the acoustic is a pain in the ass, especially at them higher frets.
when it comes down to it, there are very few people that you can trust in this world. You can go to UCLA like me, make LOTS of friends, become close to some them, and STILL not trust them (except maybe one or two) with anything important in your life.
Why? Because in the end, we are all inherently selfish.
Nothing happened today, but something almost happened. That “something” made me realize just that—even close friends will leave you in the dust at a moment’s notice, despite years of friendship.
See, and this is why it’s so hard for me to be genuine with a lot of people nowadays—there’s almost ALWAYS an agenda or some facade behind every conversation. “Awkward” people immediately get casted out. Same goes with “boring” people. And by boring, I mean someone who has different interests that are just not Quite “mainstream.” There’s so much superficiality around me, and it’s just disheartening when you think about it.
I just can’t seem to understand them. They’re cool and all, providing moments of brief entertainment, but why do people have the need to send quick videos of insignificant events in their daily lives to everyone they know?
A Jay-Z concert or a bff’s 21st birthday is understandable, but grocery shopping? Again, I’m not judging or hating, I’m just confused… I can’t relate to your desire to share that moment with everyone.
It’s the night before my last final, and I can’t sleep.
My apartment-mates decide to bring guests over and have a long ass living room discussion at 4 IN THE FUCKING MORNING?! I told y’all to be quiet once. I don’t wanna be the dick and ask the guy to leave.
These are the times when I wish I wasn’t such a light sleeper.